Photo Credit: William Stitt.
Each year on February 14th people all over the world go into a mad frenzy in an attempt to demonstrate their supposed love for others, particularly the person with whom they are in a relationship. People give Valentine cards and gifts to parents, children, and other family members, even friends. But the primary focus of the day is love between spouses, and between boyfriends and girlfriends.
However, I think Valentine’s day is a bit overrated, has the wrong focus and can be very problematic for some individuals. Especially women. We tend to want to go to work on February 15th able to brag on what our significant other did for us. Mind you, I have been guilty of that myself. But what if the “love” you are shown on February 14th is the only expression of affection you receive from your significant other for the entire year? And that was only done out of a sense of obligation? I have seen couples who barely speak to one another and haven’t had sexual intimacy in months go through the motions on Valentine’s day because they felt that is what’s expected. And when they day is over it’s back to business as usual with person retreating to their respective corners. I’ve seen men give Valentines gifts to their wife AND their mistress. I have known some single women nearly break out in hives if they are not in a relationship at the beginning of the year and then settle for any pair of pants in time for Valentine’s day just so they won’t be alone. We go through all these gyrations and manipulations and lies. But God did not create Valentine’s Day, He created covenant. I am convinced that with very few exceptions, we have no clue what love really is and wouldn’t know it if it came and slapped us in the face.
We tend to think love is what feel. The only problem with that is, when we no longer “feel” love. Then we want to exit one relationship for another where we think we “feel” love for another individual. Well, I don’t want to burst anyone’s bubble but love is NOT primarily a feeling. Love is a what we do. I Corinthians 13:4-8a,13, is the best and most complete definition of love there is. This love, cannot be achieved through feelings. This love is a decision. This love is for selfless individuals who put the other first, whether we think they deserve it or not, whether they reciprocate or not, whether we feel like it or not, whether they appreciate it or not.
And if you get the notion that it’s just too much and you don’t feel like doing all that, just ask yourself, supposed God felt the same way about us? How many times have we disappointed Him, turned our backs on Him, cursed Him, given Him our behinds to kiss? And yet the Bible says that while we were sinners and doing all manner of evil against Him, He demonstrated His love for us by sending Jesus, our Savior to die on a cross (Romans 5:8). That is some “sho nuff” love right there. But it doesn’t stop there. The Bible indicates in Jeremiah 31:3 that God’s love for us is everlasting. Now, God doesn’t ask us to get up on a cross and physically die for the object of our affection.
But it is the principles of selflessness, self-sacrifice, and commitment He expects us to demonstrate if we are going to use the “L” word. If you think it’s not humanly possible to love like that, you’re right. If we are to even come close to loving the way God does, we need Divine intervention. Read about love in the Bible. Ask God for the grace and anointing to love like He does. And when we attain it, we can say “I love you”, and it will be the truth.