Photo Credit: Edu Lauton.
I believe that most people reading this blog are familiar with the Bible’s creation narrative, especially as it pertains to the creation of the woman. Genesis 2: 21-22 tells us that God took a rib from man and formed the woman. They lived in the garden together in marital bliss for an undetermined amount of time until their collective disobedience which resulted in them attempting to hide themselves from God in shame.
But God came looking and called out three words to Adam, three loaded words which I believe God is still asking of men today, He asked Adam “Where are you”? He didn’t ask after Eve because Adam was the one to whom God had given the charge of avoiding the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. And as such, it was his responsibility to make sure God’s mandate was carried out. But he abdicated his responsibility, the woman was left her unprotected and vulnerable to the wiles of the enemy and there were dire consequences.
I know it’s a bone of contention within most relationships these days, but there really is a God ordained hierarchy. Two scriptures that speak to this are I Corinthians 11:3 and Ephesians 5:22-33. Please understand that I am NOT advocating a man ruling over a woman like a cruel dictator, but as one who is submitted to Christ and leads in love. But make no mistake, like it or not God’s design is for the man to be the leader. I believe that a Godly woman who is emotionally mature and whole will willingly and loving submit to the leadership of a Godly man. Unfortunately, so many of us are broken, either from childhood trauma or from the weight of failed relationships.
I have heard my pastor Dr. Dharius Daniels say several times that satan targets men for destruction. Because if he can influence the man to ruin his life by engaging in self-sabotaging behaviors, there will be a resultant and unfortunate trickling down of destruction to women, to children, to communities, to cities, to states, to nations and ultimately the world. I used to think that was an extreme statement bordering on exaggeration, but statistics do bare out all the negative consequences of physically, emotionally and spiritually absent men, most of whom have no clue how lead, cover and disciple a family because they have never submitted to the Word, the will and the power of God.
As a result, within the Kingdom of God, as much as in society at large, women, wives, mothers, and grandmothers have been backed into a corner and forced into positions and roles God never intended for them to fill. God never intended for the woman to be the leader of the family, but He will give her the Grace to do it if she must be. God never intended for the woman to raise and provide for children without the protection and provision of the man, but He will give her the Grace to do it if she must.
God never intended for the wife to be the one to discern and carry out the vision for the family, but He will give her the Grace to do it if she has to. God never intended for the mother to be the one to teach boys how to be men, but He will give her the Grace to teach them if she finds herself in that position. God never intended for wives and children to be abandoned, but He will give them the Grace to survive and thrive in God’s peace and joy.
I am well aware that there are many men who have never left a woman to fill such roles, but alas, there are many who have. So, to the men, husbands, fathers who have abdicated their role and responsibility and left the women and children without a male’s leading, covering and discipling, I have one question, “Adam, where are you?”